Day by day, the world is advancing and taking huge, monumental steps in the right direction towards a prosperous and accepting community, yet continuous misconceptions and false claims continue to push society many steps back. Progress cannot be made until these misunderstandings are corrected. The stigma revolving around the LGBTQ+ community has shaped the way people perceive the community, and ultimately distorted its reality. There are numerous misconceptions and stereotypes that play into misunderstandings, and these need to be addressed or they will continue to fuel homophobic attitudes.
The most common misconception is the fact that homosexuality is a choice. It’s often believed that individuals choose to be gay and can simply choose not to be, or that it’s merely a phase, and it will soon pass. However, if we consider this assumption, is being heterosexual a choice as well then? Most people would say no, so what makes heterosexuality so different than homosexuality? Regarding homosexuality as a choice makes it appear as though being straight is the “norm” and anything else is just wrong. This only contributes to internalized homophobia, and it needs to be emphasized that there practically is no “norm” for sexual orientation. Individuals do not choose to be gay, but rather it is more of a feeling that slowly develops as they mature. Coming to terms with your sexuality takes time, and it is not something that just occurs overnight. As you grow older, it’s natural for you to feel some sort of an attraction towards people of all genders, especially during puberty when more emotional and sexual feelings begin to arise. Figuring out your sexual orientation takes time and it is not something that is finalized overnight.While some may already acknowledge it at an earlier age, it may take longer for others. Regardless of your sexuality, it is not a fixed chosen concept: instead, it’s as if sexuality chooses you.
Another really common stereotype that continues to prevail is that gay men are effeminate, or simply more feminine. This is a toxic presumption that feeds to the social construct of masculinity imposed on males: that men shouldn’t cry, that they shouldn’t seek help, and that they are naturally strong. This stereotype most likely stems from the inaccurate portrayal of gay men from movies and this representation in media does more harm than good. It groups all gay men together under a certain behavior without providing them an opportunity to display their own personalities outside of this preconceived notion. This misconception also negatively impacts all men regardless of sexuality. This narrative encourages people to assume that a man is homosexual simply due to the fact he prefers to be more feminine while also eradicating the idea that gay men can be masculine or “manly.”It completely disregards the fact that they may simply want to express themselves a certain way. Feminity and masculinity should not be a way for someone to assume someone’s sexuality. Not all men who prefer to be more “feminine” are gay. Homosexual men can have masculine interests or behave in a manner that correlates with masculinity. It is not necessary for one’s sexual orientation to correspond with how masculine or feminine they are.
The stereotype that all lesbians tend to be more masculine is incorrect as well. It’s true that there are lesbians who choose to express themselves in a more masculine manner, but everyone is different and has their own way of portraying who they are. Yes, there are masculine lesbians, but not all lesbians are. In fact, there are many femme lesbians as well! Similar to the stereotype of feminine gay men, the media has also inaccurately depicted lesbians, portraying them as more masculine or ‘tomboy’-like. This has skewed the way society views them by generalizing a whole group of people to be one way. This is wrong, and it only contributes to the stigma by acting as if everyone is practically the same and acts in similar manners. Every person in the LGBTQ+ community is unique and shouldn’t be chained down by inaccurate stereotypes. A more masculine looking woman does not mean they are lesbian, or just because they are feminine, does not mean they are straight either. A person should not make baseless assumptions solely based on overly exaggerated stereotypes. There is no correlation between the way someone appears and their sexual orientation.
The idea that homosexuality is influenced and swayed by someone’s surroundings only adds to the presumption that gay individuals can cause children to turn out gay themselves. However, people need to realize that because sexual orientation is not a choice, it cannot be learned from other people or from the environment. Due to this fear that their kids might up end gay, many people are extremely wary of letting homosexual couples adopt kids or even hang around them. This is disheartening because there are many people looking to adopt but are denied simply because of their sexual orientation, when in reality, it has nothing to do with anything because anyone can be a great parent regardless of sexuality.
Another very common misconception that impacts everyday life for many people is that "pronouns equal gender.” A person who goes by she/her or she/they does not necessarily mean they identify as a girl. A person’s gender identity is extremely meaningful to them, and it’s important to always respect them. Gender identity is one’s own personal perception of their own gender and how they choose to label themselves regardless of their biologically assigned sex. Simply because she/her and he/him are considered gendered pronouns, it does not necessarily correlate with the individuals’ actual gender. For example, a person who identifies as a boy can use she/her pronouns and someone who identifies as a girl can use he/him. Their preferred pronouns are chosen because it’s what makes them most comfortable. Nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns as well, but remember that this does not mean they identify as male or female. Everyone has their pronouns, and it is not just limited to transgender, nonbinary, agender, or intersex people. Any gender can use any pronoun as long as they deem it fitting for themselves and are comfortable with it. People can also go by multiple pronouns, and some like to go by all pronouns!
The LGBTQ+ community focuses on the idea that love is love. However, this has resulted in people taking advantage of this by adding their own twisted fantasies. These people ride upon the name of the LGBTQ+ community to justify sick ideals such as pedophilia. The community does not condone this and never will. “Pedosexual” is not a part of the LGBTQ+, and it’s disheartening to see people tarnish the image of a whole community with this false association. Although love is love, it is not age blind. As a community, “pedosexual” and pedophilia as a whole is rejected. Utilizing the LGBTQ+ community to justify a sexual offense and an actual psychiatric disorder such as pedophilia is deeply rooted in the history of bigotry and is an assumption that should be immediately dismissed.
The belief that sexual orientation is linked to gender identity is very inaccurate as the two are completely different. There is no correlation between them, and there is a constant misconception about this issue when it comes to transgender people. A transgender person who identifies as woman but was biologically assigned as a male at birth can still be straight (attracted to men), gay (attracted to women), or asexual. A common rebuttal against relationships that involve a transgender person often consists of something like “if they were a man before transitioning into a woman, and they’re now dating a woman, doesn’t that make them straight?” The answer is no. That trans person now identifies as a woman, and therefore is not a male. Being transgender is not the same as identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual. Instead, it’s more about gender identity
and who you are. Sexual orientation is who you are attracted to, and it is regardless of what gender you are.
Another common misconception is that bisexuality is the same as pansexuality. It is understandable to get these two confused as some aspects can be similar. However, that doesn’t mean you can depict them to be the same so it’s important to learn why they are completely different. To put it simply, bisexuality is the attraction to two or more genders, or generally more than one gender, while pansexuality is the attraction to all genders. The two have similar concepts yet are still distinctly different. In reality, the definition typically varies depending on the person as everyone has their own preferences. Individuals can feel a romantic attraction for one gender and a sexual attraction for another. However, this doesn’t mean that bisexual and pansexual people aren’t also attracted to nonbinary people, individuals who identify as neither male or female. People who are figuring out what to label themselves with should take their time to figure it out because it’s really personal, and there is no rush in with dealing with it!
The idea of someone not having sexual attraction to anything is seemingly so absurd that people consider the thought of being asexual as merely a phase. Asexuality generally means the lack of sexual attraction to other people or just little interest for sexual activity. It’s very common for people to counter asexuality as only a phase and that the person just haven’t found the “right one.” This is not something you should ever say to anyone who identifies as asexual as you don’t know how they feel, and like other sexual orientations, it is not a choice. It’s not a phase that can simply pass once the person finds a good sexual partner. That’s practically telling a straight man that they’re only attracted to women because they “haven’t found the right man.” It also alludes to the presumption that people need to have sexual encounters in order to be “normal” which is completely false as this only invalidates asexual people. It’s often mistaken that asexual individuals are “loveless” when in truth, asexual people can experience romantic feelings and be in romantic relationships. They are not loveless; they simply lack sexual desires.
These are but the few misconceptions and misinformation that circulates about the LGBTQ+ community. However, we also encourage further research to be done in your own time to help cement your understanding.To build a safe and better place for everyone, it is a must to put an end to the false myths and falsities.
References
ABC News, ABC News Network, abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=2449185&page=1.
Arana, Gabriel, et al. “Gay Men's Obsession with Masculinity Is Hurting Their Mental Health.” Them., www.them.us/story/gay-men-masculinity-mental-health.
Benoit, Yasmin. “I'm Asexual and These Are The Myths I Wish I'd Stop Hearing.” Teen Vogue, www.teenvogue.com/story/what-is-asexuality.
Bill Sullivan Professor of Pharmacology & Toxicology; author of Pleased to Meet Me: Genes. “Stop Calling It a Choice: Biological Factors Drive Homosexuality.” The Conversation, 15 Dec. 2020, theconversation.com/stop-calling-it-a-choice-biolo gical-factors-drive-homosexuality-122764.
Caldera, Camille. “Fact Check: LGBTQ Community Rejects False Association with Pedophiles.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite Information Network, 30 July 2020, www.usatoday.com/story/news/factcheck/2020/07/30/fact-check-lgbtq-comm unity-rejects-false-association-pedophiles/5462805002/.
“How Is Sexual Orientation Different from Gender Identity?” GLAAD, 30 June 2014, www.glaad.org/how-sexual-orientation-different-gender-identity.
Parenthood, Planned. “What Is Sexual Orientation?: Sexual Orientation vs Gender.” Planned Parenthood, www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-orientation/se xual-orientation.
Sanders, A. R., et al. “Genome-Wide Scan Demonstrates Significant Linkage for Male Sexual Orientation: Psychological Medicine.” Cambridge Core, Cambridge University Press, 17 Nov. 2014, www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psycholo gical-medi cine/article/abs/genomewide-scan-demonstrates-significant-linkag e-for-male-sexual-orientation/864518601436C95563EA670C5F380343.
Santiago, Alysse Dalessandro. “All vs. More Than One: What's the Diff Between Bisexual and Pansexual?” Greatist, Greatist, 28 Jan. 2021, greatist.com/health/bise xual-vs-pansexual#how-are-they-different.
“Understanding Pronouns.” LGBT Life Center, lgbtlifecenter.org/pronouns/.
Winkler, Benjamin. “Don't Generalize the LGBTQ Community.” The Temple News, 22 Oct. 2019, temple-news.com/dont-generalize-lgbtq-community/.
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